He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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