i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
