we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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