My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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