All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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