Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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