i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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