OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
please come you make the beer taste better
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
