People with herpes should wear stickers.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
