So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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