We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
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I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
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Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize