walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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