WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
