Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
