I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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