the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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