a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
