I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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