I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
