Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
