i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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