Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
