My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Acid is not a monday night drug
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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