Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
