So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
