i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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