I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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