i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
