Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
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The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
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I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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