absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
