Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My vagina just clenched in fear
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
