This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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