No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
