i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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