If that was your dad, he is hot
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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