He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
