the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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