glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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