thus making me awesome and them whores
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize