we have officially lost it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
