it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
