What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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