the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
