you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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