did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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