you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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