I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
