Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize