I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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