I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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