we're blogging at a bar
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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