The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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