You're my little dorito
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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