I think i peed on brittanys purse
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
