I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
