I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
