the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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