I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
