you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
