Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
