Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
