this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
