i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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