i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
