Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
So. Much. Porn.
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