I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
