Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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